


sometimes i miss having someone to talk too

by bloom_bloom



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, i'm not really happy with this..., this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 18:49:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20643971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloom_bloom/pseuds/bloom_bloom
Summary: mingyu feels pathetic in the recording boothone thing leads to another and he's left sobbing in minghao's arms





	sometimes i miss having someone to talk too

**Author's Note:**

> this might be messy since i wrote this throughout the week instead of in one sitting  
sorry for any mistakes  
kind of a vent fic since this one class makes me want to cry  
i hope you like this and i hope it's not too bad  
please don't be afraid to leave a comment, they make me so happy

He would be so much better if this just wasn’t part of it at all. If only he didn’t have to stand in that recording booth and feel all this tension in his chest. He would feel as if he was shaking as if he would break down in tears if the tension in his chest would pop due to its own weight.

His mind would go blank as soon as he would look at the lyrics standing in front of him. All the practice and switching of words to make his verse perfect would fly out the window. Every time he got to this point he would feel so incredibly stupid. He didn’t even know what to do. It would make him question how he even got to this point in his career. How other people would let him get to this point in his career.

He would look at Woozi when he couldn’t get it on the first try. He heard the sigh, even though it must have just been him wanting to get back to the dorms after spending the whole day recording. To Mingyu it was Woozi being tired of him never getting his verse right. Even though he knew that wasn’t the case he couldn’t shake the feelings of guilt and shame that made him shrink. 

He would turn back to the verse that has been staring at him the whole time and try again. Try his best to hide the shakiness in his voice, try his best to rap slow enough so his words wouldn’t get jumbled. No matter how many takes he couldn’t get it right.

“You know what let's just eat lunch and come back here afterward. We all have off days, don’t worry about it.”

But all he could do was worry about it. He couldn’t even eat when he felt like throwing up. He was so sure that he would cry if anyone else said something. He might’ve actually been shaking at this point. He hated this. He was already exhausted enough from a daily schedule of never-ending work to get ready for the comeback.

He wasn’t complaining. He loved being able to make so many people happy and to perform in front of them too. He utterly loved it. It was just that stupid recording room that made him want to sit, cry, and die. Yes, everything leading up to that room wasn’t easy either, but it was bearable. It was work that he was happy to have. If he didn’t have it he might have been dead a while ago. 

It was his members and their fans that never let him fail. It was them being the reason he got up in the morning. It was them who made him want to get up in the morning. But days like this could trash that all. Days like this would make him go back to the dorm while feeling cold. They would make him slow and tired. They would make him lay in bed and wish that he wouldn’t have to do anything the next day. Make him think of doing something bad and drastic to get out of the days' work. 

It was the exhaustion that came with the repetition of work. It made him wish he had someone special. Someone who thought he was special and someone he thought was special. It was during these schedules that he had more bad days than good. And bad days make more damage than any good day could heal.  
So going back to the recording room was something he didn’t want to do. He would try his best to get it all done by the end of the day. He spent his lunch going over his lyrics and trying to perfect his timing. He would have to get this over with, and he was happy that he was lucky enough to do so. 

-

By the time he finally got back to the dorms he was tearing at his seams. He knew the moment he felt the comfort of the sofa he would break down in tears. He wished that he could avoid that but he was too tired to stand at this point. Holding a mental breakdown isn’t the easiest thing to do. So he sat down with a huff knowing what was soon to come, he held it in for as long as he could. He couldn’t turn back now.

When the tears started to fall he tried his best to stay silent. He didn’t want to wake up the others who made it home from recording way earlier than him. He just sat there with his knees to his chest and tried to keep his lip bitten in between his teeth. He tried to keep his uneasy breathing quiet while making sure that the tears streaming down his face wouldn’t flood into the little gaps at the sides of his lips. He really tried. 

Once he gasped for air he couldn’t hold in the sobs any longer. He wanted to scream, he wanted to punch the walls, but all he could do was sit there. There was more anger in his sobs than he liked. He knew the anger was all because of himself. He was so angry that he was plagued with these thoughts. 

He just didn’t want to tell the others how much he just wanted to die sometimes. They didn’t need something else placed on their shoulders, so he’ll hold it all himself.

He didn’t notice how the cushion next to him sank, or how there was warmth coming from his left. But once he felt arms wrap around him he sobbed even louder. He didn’t know he had all of this in him. Guessing that it was just everything he bottled inside him pushing out with no mercy. 

“It’s ok. I don’t care what’s wrong. I love you and nothing will change that.”

All Mingyu could do was cling onto Minghao while trying to catch his breath. He must’ve looked crazy. He must’ve looked like a blubbering dog. But Minghao didn’t care how much his shirt got soaked or how it must’ve torn from Mingyu’s grip. All that was running through his mind was what the hell happened to make Mingyu break down like this. This never happened, hell they almost never see him cry. 

It hurt seeing Mingyu cling onto him like a lifeline. So he rubbed his back, ran his finge4rs through his hair, held him close to him. Trying anything to calm him down. It didn’t take long for Mingyu to catch his breath after draining his soul. He just let his body melt against Minghaos. The warmth was nice, it made him feel light and fluffy being this close to the younger. 

“Do you feel better?”

Mingyu just nodded against his chest and let his lips rest against his neck. His skin was so nice and warm. He wished he could stay like this forever. Feeling special in his hold.


End file.
